Kids – everybody tells you it’s such a good idea to have them. That being a parent is a magical experience and you’ll never do anything else that is so fulfilling in your whole entire life… that is, until, you actually have kids, and you become a parent, and suddenly you realized that everybody you’ve ever known was just lying blatantly to your face and now there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
It isn’t all THAT bad, though. I mean, of course, you still love them and whatever. It’s just that, nobody really warned you what a pain in the a*s they can be sometimes. One thing is for sure though – kids are an endless source of entertainment and most of the time you’ll just find yourself trying not to cry-laugh… especially during the moments you should be wearing your “angry parent” pants.
Well I mean, she’s not wrong, is she? And I suppose getting someone a “Best Dad in the World” mug is not something to be taken lightly!
Now, of course, I’m totally against being violent towards children, all I’m saying is that its when they say things like this, I could totally understand why people would do it.
Well, at least you can say you raised a child that not only looks on the bright side of life but also has an incredible sense of humor. Good job, parents!
If this was my child I would honestly give them whatever the heck they wanted. 1.) because this is freaking amazing and 2.) because I’d be slightly terrified to find out what happened if I didn’t.
My mother always warned me that one-day karma would come back around and bite me in the a*s by giving me a child as sassy as I was… and now I know exactly what that would be like.
Seriously though, where do kids LEARN this stuff? I know if this was me I’d have an incredibly hard time looking angry while trying not to laugh.
Not to mention, kids seem to think they know it ALL, and one day you’ll wake up to find out your toddler has been replaced with vogues latest fashion critic/ the hottest new Michelin star chef in the world/ a world-renowned Nobel prize winning doctor who knows more than you.
Kids also seem to grow up SO FAST. And I’m not just talking in a biological, cliche sense, I mean mentally (and freakin’ mouthily). They’re always busy now, they don’t have time for your kisses.
Kids learn very early on that good behavior = being rewarded… at least, that’s what you hope they learn. More often than not, however, they aren’t exactly “thrilled” with what their reward actually ends up being.
As a parent, it’s particularly important that you keep stocked up on aloe vera gel at all times, because, y’know, with all those burns you’ll be receiving on a daily basis it’s handy to have it available.
Look, you may as well face it, you may have been a Disney princess once, but when you have kids those days are immediately OVER. Now, you’re the big scary monster, or the old crazy lady, or the witch with the scary horns… now, my dear, you are a Disney Villian. Congratulations!
Yes. Yes, you should. You should 100% be offended by that. Unless your dancing truly IS that offensive, of course.
If they sold Valentine’s Day/Birthday/Friendship/Christmas/Birthday etc cards with this written on them I would literally buy a 10 year supply. Absolutely outstanding.
Parenting Hack: If you don’t want to spend an entire day being compared to relics that are literally millions and billions of years old then do not (I repeat, do NOT) drag your children to a museum. EVER.
See? SEE? This is what I’m talking about. Nobody – and I mean NOBODY – tells you about this stuff when you first start thinking about having children. This is the information other parents leave out just so you’ll fall into the trap EXACTLY AS THEY DID.
Did I mention how from literally the minute they are born kids already know one hundred million more things about technology than you do!? I swear, my nephew came out of the womb already playing candy crush on an iPhone X. His first words were also “Alexa, play Baby Shark!” (safe to say, Alex went on a little “Vacation” for a while after that.)
And last but not least – the ultimate insult. What your kids don’t realize that before you had them, you were COOL, you have LOTS of FRIENDS, people came to YOU for FASHION advice, you were known as the PARTY ANIMAL of the group. But kids? Kids don’t care about that. To them, you’re the mean old ogre who makes them brush their teeth and eat broccoli when they don’t want to.
Who would change it though eh!?