Jokes that we love to hate, jokes that are so bad they’re awesome, and even some so bad they’re terrible and make us groan and roll our eyes. Dads have them all in their locker! After all, if your old man can’t shame you with their embarrassing jokes, what is the world coming to? Some of the best-worst dad-based laughs are coming your way right now. Here’s to all the fathers whose jokes are armed and dadly!
What’s red and smells like white paint? Red paint.
I was really sad the day I got fired from my job at the calendar factory… I took a few days off.
I used to hate facial hair… but now it’s growing on me.
Son: Hey dad, did you get a haircut?
Dad: No son, I got them all cut.
Never buy anything with velcro, it’s a total rip-off
Did I ever tell you about the day I married your mother? It was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers.
Waitress: Are you finished?
Dad: No, I’m Norwegian, but you can take my plate
I gave all of my dead batteries away today… free of charge.
Child: I’m hungry
Father: Hi Hungry, I’m dad.
What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift.
Your mom told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
BONUS ROUND: What is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
A LITTLE LIGHTER! Baahahaha I kill myself I really do! I guess dad jokes are a father’s way of getting back at the kids who watched him sleeping and thought ‘we should go ask him questions… impossible questions!’. There’s nothing like waking up as a father to a line like, “Hey dad, why is the sky blue?”.